Friday, January 11, 2013

living

I haven't written in over a year and a half. This makes me sad, because there are a lot of things I would have liked to write about but just couldn't (didn't?) find the time. But it also makes me happy because I know all that means is that we have done a lot of living in all that time.

A LOT.

So why pick up again now? Well...why not? Any day is a good day to start again, and I think, or rather I really really hope, that in time I will be able to go back and fill in the blanks. Because there are a lot of blanks, and I don't like that. As I said, there is so much we have been through in the last 18 months as a family, so many trials, blessings and adventures. I want my children to remember it all; more importantly, I want to remember it all. And that's really why I'm picking up the pen again, so to speak.

Yep, you read that right...I mentioned muy children. As in, more than one. On this day, January 11, 2013, I am 29 weeks pregnant with our second baby - another little girl!

I can't tell you how elated I am to be having another girl. I started off thinking it was a girl, then slowly convinced myself (with lots of help from friends and family of course) that it was a boy. So once again, on the day of our ultrasound, I was a little surprised to hear Girl. Mind you, we almost left the appointment without finding out. This little munchkin was all snuggled up and our poor technician spent more than our allotted time slot with us trying every which way to get her to open up. I have to say, that appointment was not at all telling regarding how active this baby would be in the womb. Because ever since my third month, she has been All Motion, All the Time.

Her name is Sadie Leona. I have come to the conclusion that she simply named herself, because it came to us all of a sudden and it was not the name I originally chose for her. I had one name in mind for a long time, and then right before our ultrasound one night, I happened to be researching baby names just for fun. The name Sadie leaped put at me, and I mentioned it to Jeremy the next day. From then on, even though we kept insisting that we were undecided when people asked, we referred to her as Sadie at home. Eventually, we just felt bad at the thought of changing it on her. And so Sadie she was. And I was in love.

Leona also came about in an interesting way. Leon is Jeremy's dad's middle name, which was his dad's first name, and when we thought we might be having a boy we were going to bring it back as his middle name too. Then we found out we were having a girl. When Thanksgiving day came, Jeremy's mother's parents brought them a gift, an urn that was an old wedding gift to Grampa Wally's mother, as well as a beautiful black and white photograph of her. Her name? Leona. And on the car ride home I suggested it to Jeremy, and he loved it. So our little girl became Sadie (Princess) Leona (Lioness). Like I said...she named herself.

So that's the story of this pregnancy so far. Yes, it was planned. Yes, we were thrilled. And yes, we are looking forward to seeing how Abby interacts with Sadie and we are so, so happy that they each have each other to grow up with and love. I myself never had a sister, and while I'm pretty happy with how I grew up anyway, I always wondered. But now I can do one better. I can give each of my daughters a sister.

Another chunk of our lives that I missed writing about is our Last Apartment. The In-Between apartment. The Treehouse, as we sometimes referred to it. This is where we ended up moving once our landlords sold the house on Woods Hole Road - an apartment in the same house, right next door. Our neighbors had moved out, and while nostalgia made the decision to move a difficult one, in the end we thought it was right for us. It was bigger, had full-sized appliances, a washer and dryer, and a large deck off the living room which we loved. Though we only lived there for three months, and though we possess very few pictures of this apartment (thanks to my horrible tendency to feel like everything has to look "perfect" for picture-taking...im still kicking myself over this), it did grow on us, and we do have lots of special memories there. I would definitely like to expand on this chapter of our lives in another post, in order to give it the justice it deserves. Preservation of all our memories is so important to me.

In September 2012, as fate would have it, we made a huge decision that would alter many things for our family in a big way. We said goodbye to 251 and moved across town to an old farmhouse, circa 1830. THIS house will also need it's own post, an ode of sorts to all the ways it is simply perfect for our small but growing family. Most days, I have to admit, it feels like our Forever Home, though we don't own it. Perhaps someday, God willing, we will. Or perhaps God has a different plan for us. After all, whenever we think we've got it all figured out, the wind seems to blow in another direction. You just can never be sure where it will take you in this life.

There is more...so much more. But duties call, and for me that means getting to bed because yes, I still have to get up for work at 4:45 sometimes. However, no longer will I make excuses for not writing again. I want to write. I need to write. I can feel it in my bones. And whether one day all those words inside me will leak out like ink and turn into a novel, or I simply journal about my family for as long as it feels right, I will not stop until the wind blows all my words away.

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me

My name is Audrey. I'm just a twentysomething learning how to master the arts of cooking, cleaning, working and being in a relationship, same as you.In between all that, I like to collect sea glass and salvaged furniture. Occasionally, I cut and paste scraps of paper together. In the end, I am hoping that all of these things together will somehow amount to something good. This blog is a journal of my efforts to get there.

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