Friday, December 31, 2010

photo noir

Before my baby is born, i wanted to make sure i took some last-minute photos of my belly.

I've been looking for a good excuse to experiment with this aged photo application.

I love aged things.

I also love my belly.

I'm going to miss it.
Monday, December 27, 2010

the greatest christmas gift

What a wonderful Christmas we had this year.

Not only did i spend it with a very pregnant belly, and lots of snow...i also received a very special Christmas morning surprise: my brother. Though he could only stay for two days, the important thing is that he was home - with family - for the holiday. And that's the greatest Christmas gift any of us could have asked for.

Abigail has decided to hang around a little longer. She is due in ten days, and i am trying my best to appreciate every single one of these last precious moments with her snuggled up inside me. For the first time yesterday, i literally started to cry thinking about her not being in there anymore! I have been fairly anxious during this final month to get to the hospital and deliver, as the exhaustion and back pain have been almost too much to bear. But i can sense that my time with having Abby all to myself is coming to an end very soon, and i never anticipated such an emotional response to the end of pregnancy, but alas, here i am lamenting it.

Still, i am excited. The car seat is strapped in tightly, our bags are packed, and we're ready to go at a moment's notice. As i sit and watch the snow falling magically outside, i can't help but hope that the world will look much like this when Abby is born.

White. Beautiful. Pure. Just like her.
Sunday, December 12, 2010

not a creature was stirring...well, maybe a mouse

This morning at 2:30am i awoke to a very loud rustling noise. At first i was rather perturbed; i had finally almost made it through an entire night without waking up to a horrendous case of heartburn, and now this.

But then i was just curious. Jeremy was still on the couch, where he'd fallen asleep hours ago, so i sat there in the dark, alone, staring into the kitchen. The rustling went on for several minutes, at which point i grew slightly irritated. It sounded very much like someone wrapping Christmas presents, but who would be doing such a thing at 2:30am? And couldn't they keep it down??

Finally, i got out of bed (not an easy feat these days, but this mystery needed to be solved - besides, now i had to pee and Abby was awake and squirming about). I stood in the bedroom doorway and stared straight at the trash bag tied up on the kitchen floor, for that's where i eventually decided the noise was coming from.

How odd, i thought. Could there really be an animal rustling through our trash?

I have to admit, the thought was amusing. Mostly because all i could think of was Templeton, the gluttenous rat from Charlotte's Web, rolling around drunkenly after over-indulging on scraps at the county fair. Except that our visitor, i was certain, was a mouse. I couldn't even be mad at it - how could i, when it was clearly enjoying itself so? But it couldn't stay in our kitchen. I had to get up for work in two hours, and knew i'd never fall back asleep with that ruckus just a couple yards away.

I could tell my husband did not feel like doing a thing about our dilemma when i woke him from a very deep sleep. But mice nest in people's clothes, and chew them, and poop everywhere. Mr. Mouse would have to finish enjoying his meal outside - and so out Jeremy went with the trash, so that i could get a little more shut-eye. And i do emphasize the term little, as Abby was now ready to eat and my heartburn was acting up again.

I've suffered with heartburn throughout most of my pregnancy, but in the last week or so it has officially progressed to a full-blown case of Acid Reflux. I looked it up online, and apparently (according to one website, anyway) about 50% of pregnant women experience this problem. It is horrible. It seems that nothing i eat can stay down, but instead comes shooting back up my esophagus like a ball of fire searing my throat. And it burns on and off all day, but the worst of it comes at night. As if getting comfortable in bed and falling asleep isn't hard enough these days!

This ninth month is brutal. I'm trying not to let it overwhelm me, but instead to continue enjoying being pregnant while i can. Reading back on how i felt when i first found out i was pregnant, i feel sad that it's all coming to an end. I know, i know - this is only the beginning, really, and much more wonderful, sweet moments are coming. But i will miss my belly, and especially Abby inside of me, mysteriously making me fall in love with her more each day despite the fact that she's completely hidden and soundless.

Our Christmas tree is up, all the lights hung with care
In hopes that our Abigail soon will be here...
Friday, December 3, 2010

just the two of us

It's been over a month since i last posted. I have to say, it's been a lot harder to find time to write during my pregnancy than i expected. But i think this is a good thing. Because it means that i'm accomplishing what i set out to do from the very beginning, which was to make sure that i truly made an effort to enjoy every bit of my pregnancy - including just sitting on the couch sipping tea and feeling Abby move inside of me instead of sitting at the computer writing about it.

But i have a moment now, and i do feel that it's important to document a few things whenever possible. Such as what i've learned from this experience. Naturally, there are a lot of things i could contemplate, but the one i have been focusing on lately is simplicity.

The last few months have been a whirlwind, to say the least. The chaos and stress involved in getting ready for a baby can certainly make your head spin, but i was determined not to let that happen for us. One way that i tried to stave it off was by simplifying our home as much as possible. By focusing much of my energy on cleaning and throwing things away, i've been able (for the most part) to keep myself sane. You would think that living in a tiny, one-bedroom apartment would be enough to stop us from amassing the type of extraneous items that most house-dwellers tend to collect over time - but this is not the case. We still managed to find a ghastly amount of STUFF lying around, collecting dust, subliminally adding to our overall feeling of anxiety. So we've adopted the whole "when in doubt, throw it out" rule, deciding that anything that didn't hold special meaning to us had no place in our home anymore.

Anyone who knows me well knows that the start of this process was difficult for me. I've been a pack rat all my life, forging theories like "well, i might need this someday" or "someone gave this to me, i can't just get rid of it" or "wouldn't it be wasteful to throw this away?" And the answer, of course, is no. It is not wasteful to throw away Stuff. It is far more wasteful, i've come to realize, to throw away the opportunity to have peace of mind and a simplified, stress-free home. Without all the piles of Stuff lying around, hiding in corners, in closets, under beds, i can focus on what truly matters. I can spend more time enjoying my husband instead of sorting through junk papers and cleaning out drawers. Life is about Us instead of Getting To Us.

The same idea will apply once our daughter is born. Now that we've de-cluttered our home, there is nothing to distract us from the most important thing in our lives - loving our daughter. Watching her play and having the freedom to explore, instead of discouraging her every move because there's too much Stuff in the way. Granted, when weather permits, we intend to spend as much time as possible out of doors. But when we come back to our nest, we know how good it will feel for it to be a clean one.

And now, some updated photos of the nursery...


My name is Audrey. I'm just a twentysomething learning how to master the arts of cooking, cleaning, working and being in a relationship, same as you.In between all that, I like to collect sea glass and salvaged furniture. Occasionally, I cut and paste scraps of paper together. In the end, I am hoping that all of these things together will somehow amount to something good. This blog is a journal of my efforts to get there.


thesalvagedbride at gmail dot com