Saturday, June 12, 2010

shooting stars

Does anyone ever feel like everything's exactly where it's supposed to be in their life? That everything around them is moving in one fluid motion towards the same goal?


I can remember when life was perfect; i don't think i knew it at the time, because when you're a kid you don't really ponder the meaning of your existence or whether or not everything's going according to plan. There is no plan. You just ARE. And when everything's perfect, you don't necessarily realize it, you just feel happy. I had lots of these moments as a kid. They involved fat, juicy slices of watermelon...the scent of cotton...laughter, often followed by grass stains...the cool splash of water and a loving pair of arms to wrap you up, dry and warm and safe.


Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of these moment in the adult life (the only difference being that perhaps the loving pair of arms are now yours). But still, not everything is in sync. And it seems a little backwards, because as soon as you become an adult, a time when you're supposed to have a lot more control over everything in your life, it suddenly appears that you have absolutely no control at all. You can make decisions, you can say yes or no to this or that, you can ignore a phone call or take a vacation or plan certain events in a day. But you can't control the weather, and that's a metaphor that transcends much of the brain power i use to try and comprehend that fact.


What do you do when life throws you a curveball? Do you try to dodge it? Work around it? Swing at it? Or curl up and the plate and cry?


Timing is everything, and yet it's a big part of that uncontrollable weather that dominates us. It's waiting a very long time for something you really needed months ago, and all you can do is have faith that there's a reason it's not here yet. It's enjoying something right away when the rest of the universe hasn't quite caught up to share it with you. And it's figuring out how to pretend you're oblivious to it all, like when you were ten years old at that huge family cookout one hot summer day not too long ago.

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me

My name is Audrey. I'm just a twentysomething learning how to master the arts of cooking, cleaning, working and being in a relationship, same as you.In between all that, I like to collect sea glass and salvaged furniture. Occasionally, I cut and paste scraps of paper together. In the end, I am hoping that all of these things together will somehow amount to something good. This blog is a journal of my efforts to get there.

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