Wednesday, July 21, 2010

heartbeat

Our baby is growing so fast already.


We finally got to hear the heartbeat today. I couldn't believe how strong it was beating, or how clearly we could hear it! At one point the beat got even louder, to which our midwife smiled and said, "Whoops! It just swam a little closer."


Just knowing that my baby was so near and hearing its little heart beating so strong made me feel a thousand times better. Especially after learning that we weren't going to find out what it was for another four weeks.


We were disappointed at first, but now we just have something to look forward to. Sometimes, after admiring our first ultrasound and noting how very perfect our baby is already, i honestly don't even want to know what it is. It doesn't even matter. What matters is that it's healthy, and happy, and safe.


The real shock came when i stepped on the scale at the office and realized i'd lost nearly two pounds since my last appointment. How was this possible?! I was clearly bigger and my appetite has been out of control. After talking it out with our midwife, i can only assume that the hot weather, combined with sufficient work and excersize, is to blame. This left me with a bit of anxiety, and i actually felt as though i had failed my child for the first time. As though i've not been providing the right amount of nutrition that he or she needs. Now all i can think about every time my stomach growls is my baby suffering in hunger - silly, i know, but i can't get the image out of my head. I just never thought that eating enough would ever be a problem for me!


I am hoping that our vacation will help push me out of this rut. In about a week, we'll be driving to Maine, where we'll do nothing but exist as regular beach bums and eat all the lobster, steak and ice cream we want - Jeremy, myself, and our hungry little caterpillar.

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me

My name is Audrey. I'm just a twentysomething learning how to master the arts of cooking, cleaning, working and being in a relationship, same as you.In between all that, I like to collect sea glass and salvaged furniture. Occasionally, I cut and paste scraps of paper together. In the end, I am hoping that all of these things together will somehow amount to something good. This blog is a journal of my efforts to get there.

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