Dear Abigail,

You had the perfect birthday. Honestly, it couldn't have been any better.

First, let's talk about the food. We may not have covered ALL your favorites, but we came pretty darn close. For breakfast, I made from-scratch blueberry buttermilk pancakes...they were the. best. pancakes. EVER! With whipped cream, real maple syrup, and extra blueberries for the birthday girl. Later in the day, we had crackers and hummus, then made a mushroom and olive pizza with plenty of cheese. YUM. In the evening, of course, we ate my delicious coconut cloud cake. Finally, perhaps the part you were most excited about (aside from getting your very own family-sized tub of hummus), you got your very own large bowl of pomegranate. Needless to say, you were a very happy girl.

ALL DAY you were a happy girl. From the moment you woke up next to me in bed to the moment you fell asleep next to me in bed, you knew this day was yours. And all the three of us did was eat, sleep, watch movies and play together. It was amazing. Daddy and I both agree that it's one of the best days we've had in a very long time, and that your birthday is officially our favorite day of the year!

Since the day you were born, Abby, you have brought us nothing but joy. And it was so nice to devote an entire day to giving it back to you. Your giggles, your delighted faces of surprise, your little feet running excitedly through the house - these are the things that bring meaning to our lives, that make us so happy to be your parents.

Happy 2nd Birthday, beautiful!

Abigail Grace,

Tomorrow, you will be two. Happy birthday, little girl! For that is what you are now - not a baby, but a little girl. Two years flew by, the greatest two years I have ever known, and you have blossomed into something so beautiful that no amount of words could ever truly describe you justly.

You are pretty and sweet, gentle and kind. You are compassionate and loving. You are full of wonder and curiosity. You are the funniest person I know! You love to sing and dance and play. You love your stuffed animals more than any other toy; aside from me and Daddy they are your best friends. You love to be outside, running, feeding the birds, collecting rocks and sticks and leaves, visiting the ceramic rooster on the barn steps and the weathered angel figure by the edge of the woods, splashing in puddles and raking your small fingers through the dirt and grass. You have always loved feeling the wind on your face. Your hugs could mend a wounded heart and your laughter could breathe life into death. Your favorite foods right now are pomegranates, hummus and popcorn. You still haven't spent an entire night in your own bed, and secretly, we love it.

Every few months since the day you were born, we have found ourselves saying, "This is our favorite age." And I can already tell that this time is no different. You are becoming more independent all the time, which is sad at first but so rewarding as parents because we know that you feel safe and confident to be your own person, with your own opinions and wishes and ideas. You know what you want, when you want it, and that's great! And we look forward to seeing you grow more this year, a year when you will be that much more aware of the life around you, a year in which you will gain a little sister.

Abigail, we are so, so proud of you. We love you more than you will ever know, and our greatest desire is to celebrate you not just tomorrow, but every single day.

Hugs and kisses, Mommy and Daddy

Today we had no plans. It was beautiful.

After the holidays, most people are usually somewhat broke. For us right now, broke doesn't even begin to sum it up. But it's not really due to holiday shopping - that was the least of our worries this year. Aside from affording rent and all our utilities and miscellaneous other bills, we have been getting slammed with major car issues. And this has been going on for a YEAR.

It seems like we'll never catch a break, but I know we will. We've got to. Our time is coming. Right now, we just have to get into Mission Mode, buckle down, and get things done.

And enjoy the rare day when we have nowhere to go, no one to see, and nothing to spend our money on.

We actually did leave the house today, but just to take a walk on Nobska Beach. Though we're basically surrounded by it, we haven't seen the ocean in a while, and i think Jeremy and I were both starting to feel it. There's simply nothing like an ocean stroll to calm your soul and clear your mind. And for a short time today, the three of us were truly able to gaze out at the foggy sea, breathe in the salt air, and appreciate nothing but the serenity of nature and the closeness of one another.

Abigail is such a surfer girl. She had a blast throwing rocks in the water, and didn't run away when the waves rolled onto the beach and threatened to swallow her shoes. In fact, we had to keep pulling her away at the last second, which eventually made her upset. She started yelling, "I want to go swim!" and we had to leave. Poor baby.

I couldn't help having flashbacks to when I was pregnant with Abby and Jeremy and I walked the same beach together, dreaming about the day when we'd have her with us and could expose her to the great big ocean, the sand, the sea glass, the waves. And now here we were, the three of us, as we've been in the past, but this time I was pregnant again. Naturally, I had to express the strangeness of it, the happiness, my wonderment at the idea of us being a family of four soon, walking this beach again.

It was just what we needed.

The only thing possibly better than that walk was a moment this evening, after dinner and after Abby was in her jammies. We were all three sitting on the couch watching one of Abby's movies when she leaned over and lay her head on my belly, right where Sadie was resting. I'm not sure if it was Sadie's bum or head, but either way they were literally cheek to cheek, and it was so, so sweet.

Truly, how can we worry about anything with that image burning in our minds?

I haven't written in over a year and a half. This makes me sad, because there are a lot of things I would have liked to write about but just couldn't (didn't?) find the time. But it also makes me happy because I know all that means is that we have done a lot of living in all that time.

A LOT.

So why pick up again now? Well...why not? Any day is a good day to start again, and I think, or rather I really really hope, that in time I will be able to go back and fill in the blanks. Because there are a lot of blanks, and I don't like that. As I said, there is so much we have been through in the last 18 months as a family, so many trials, blessings and adventures. I want my children to remember it all; more importantly, I want to remember it all. And that's really why I'm picking up the pen again, so to speak.

Yep, you read that right...I mentioned muy children. As in, more than one. On this day, January 11, 2013, I am 29 weeks pregnant with our second baby - another little girl!

I can't tell you how elated I am to be having another girl. I started off thinking it was a girl, then slowly convinced myself (with lots of help from friends and family of course) that it was a boy. So once again, on the day of our ultrasound, I was a little surprised to hear Girl. Mind you, we almost left the appointment without finding out. This little munchkin was all snuggled up and our poor technician spent more than our allotted time slot with us trying every which way to get her to open up. I have to say, that appointment was not at all telling regarding how active this baby would be in the womb. Because ever since my third month, she has been All Motion, All the Time.

Her name is Sadie Leona. I have come to the conclusion that she simply named herself, because it came to us all of a sudden and it was not the name I originally chose for her. I had one name in mind for a long time, and then right before our ultrasound one night, I happened to be researching baby names just for fun. The name Sadie leaped put at me, and I mentioned it to Jeremy the next day. From then on, even though we kept insisting that we were undecided when people asked, we referred to her as Sadie at home. Eventually, we just felt bad at the thought of changing it on her. And so Sadie she was. And I was in love.

Leona also came about in an interesting way. Leon is Jeremy's dad's middle name, which was his dad's first name, and when we thought we might be having a boy we were going to bring it back as his middle name too. Then we found out we were having a girl. When Thanksgiving day came, Jeremy's mother's parents brought them a gift, an urn that was an old wedding gift to Grampa Wally's mother, as well as a beautiful black and white photograph of her. Her name? Leona. And on the car ride home I suggested it to Jeremy, and he loved it. So our little girl became Sadie (Princess) Leona (Lioness). Like I said...she named herself.

So that's the story of this pregnancy so far. Yes, it was planned. Yes, we were thrilled. And yes, we are looking forward to seeing how Abby interacts with Sadie and we are so, so happy that they each have each other to grow up with and love. I myself never had a sister, and while I'm pretty happy with how I grew up anyway, I always wondered. But now I can do one better. I can give each of my daughters a sister.

Another chunk of our lives that I missed writing about is our Last Apartment. The In-Between apartment. The Treehouse, as we sometimes referred to it. This is where we ended up moving once our landlords sold the house on Woods Hole Road - an apartment in the same house, right next door. Our neighbors had moved out, and while nostalgia made the decision to move a difficult one, in the end we thought it was right for us. It was bigger, had full-sized appliances, a washer and dryer, and a large deck off the living room which we loved. Though we only lived there for three months, and though we possess very few pictures of this apartment (thanks to my horrible tendency to feel like everything has to look "perfect" for picture-taking...im still kicking myself over this), it did grow on us, and we do have lots of special memories there. I would definitely like to expand on this chapter of our lives in another post, in order to give it the justice it deserves. Preservation of all our memories is so important to me.

In September 2012, as fate would have it, we made a huge decision that would alter many things for our family in a big way. We said goodbye to 251 and moved across town to an old farmhouse, circa 1830. THIS house will also need it's own post, an ode of sorts to all the ways it is simply perfect for our small but growing family. Most days, I have to admit, it feels like our Forever Home, though we don't own it. Perhaps someday, God willing, we will. Or perhaps God has a different plan for us. After all, whenever we think we've got it all figured out, the wind seems to blow in another direction. You just can never be sure where it will take you in this life.

There is more...so much more. But duties call, and for me that means getting to bed because yes, I still have to get up for work at 4:45 sometimes. However, no longer will I make excuses for not writing again. I want to write. I need to write. I can feel it in my bones. And whether one day all those words inside me will leak out like ink and turn into a novel, or I simply journal about my family for as long as it feels right, I will not stop until the wind blows all my words away.

Yesterday our landlords announced that they are selling 251. I was surprised at how devastating this news was to me.

As i lay here in bed beside my sleeping baby, listening to the wind and rain own the night outside the open window, i'm not contemplating the meaning of home. I believe in the old adage that home is where the heart is. It's wherever you are when you're surrounded by the people or things you love. It can be several places at one time, or one very specific place on a number of different occasions. But home, i've decided, is really more of a feeling than a place.

Warmth. Laughter. Memories. Hardships. Support. Love.

Alright, maybe i am contemplating the meaning of home. But yesterday, i wasn't. Yesterday i knew that, no matter how frustrated i sometimes get with our little postage stamp of a living space, right here and now, this is home. And i'm not ready to leave.

This is our first home together. It's where we had all our first arguments. It's where we went from engaged to married. It's where we made our first friends and neighbors as a couple. It's where we transitioned from sleeping on a mattress on the floor to a real bed. It's where we made meals together and chose paint colors and tracked beach sand that will be stuck between the creaky wooden floorboards forever. It's where we've put up two real Christmas trees and broke in through a window three times after locking ourselves out. It's where i labored all night long and where we brought our first child home.

All of these things make my heart ache when i consider the possibility that we might have to leave with summer. It makes any complaints that i've had in the past about this place seem so petty.

Where i once saw problems, i now see potential.

I hope. I wish. I pray...that we can stay.

Well, the title pretty much sums it up. Abby got her first tooth!

I'm not sure when exactly i realized this. People have been telling me for months that she's teething (seriously, i swear - starting from birth if your child drools even once, everyone that notices is going to proclaim that he or she is teething. After a while i stopped debating this and just did the whole Smile At The Woman Who Thinks She Knows Everything Including My Child Better Than Me thing. You'll fare well to do the same, when it's your turn.).

So now i can say it: No, Abigail wasn't teething.

But she is now.

Thankfully, the tooth doesn't seem to be bothering her too much - yet. I had been running my finger over her gums for days, thinking it might be That Time. My instincts were right. I finally felt it while allowing her to gnaw on my knuckle one day - ouch! My, those are some sharp gums! And, oh...that's a tooth.

We often find her sliding her tongue over the tooth, and she's been getting slightly whinier when she's tired. It's so sad. As a parent, your heart breaks when you know your child is in pain (kind of like the two times i've had to watch her endure a round of shots at the doctor's office - worst part of being a mom so far). Because there's simply nothing you can do about it, at least at this stage of their lives. You can comfort them, and that's great, but they can't yet understand that pain is only temporary. And that's something you just have to wait for them to realize when they're older.

Everyone should have a babymoon, i've decided. Typically, a babymoon is a vacation you take with your significant other a short time before your baby is born, before your lives are changed forever and nothing will ever be just about the two of you again. It sounds wonderful, but we never did it. Instead, we took our babymoon four months after Abby was born - on the anniversary of our first year of marriage.

I'm not really sure why the term "babymoon" is used for a trip taken before birth, since honeymoons are taken after marriage. After marriage, but before you start getting on each other's nerves (ha ha). You're still in love. You might have been dating for a while, but things are still new and exciting and you still genuinely want to be together 100% of the time. Shouldn't babymoons, then, be the same? We took ours now - after birth, but before, say, the terrible twos? - after we'd finally established somewhat of a routine, while things are a little easier but still new and exciting and we still want to be with our baby 100% of the time (yes, she still sleeps in our bed!). Our babymoon wasn't a final rushed attempt to savor our independence as a childless couple, but a weekend away with our child that would allow us to fully focus on, and appreciate, the three of us as a family.

No work, no phone calls, no worries. Just Mommy, Daddy, and Baby.

On Saturday morning, we threw everything into the car and drove to Maine. It was overcast, cool, and sometimes rainy, but it was just what we needed. We went there to get away from here, and we savored every minute of it.

Before we even checked into our hotel, we had lunch at the Maine Diner. This was the first time we had brought Abby into a restaurant, ever! In fact, it was the first time we'd been to a restaurant in ages. Jeremy and i always feel that we eat so well at home, and we do, and we love cooking together. But this weekend was a treat. We had lobster pie, and although Abby is too young to eat solid food, she did hold a spoon for the first time. It went straight to her mouth, as everything does these days, and she was an absolute doll during the meal. Waitresses stopped to smile at her and comment on her cuteness. As an elderly couple was leaving, the husband stopped to make faces at her and attempted to make her laugh. That's what we love about people in Maine - they are so friendly! And they are always so genuinely happy for you and your family.

After lunch, we checked into our hotel and put on another layer of clothing so we could go to Ogunquit Beach. It was foggy and nearly deserted, but those who were there were holding hands as they strolled the sand, or flying kites with their kids. It was a dream come true. Although Abby slept in her stroller, it was her first time on a beach at all, and it felt so special. Jeremy even wet his head in the water and took off his sandals! He is a true beach boy.

(the rest to come soon...sorry!)